Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Infertility in a fertile mind

 I hear a lot of heart break in my endo community, the scare f never holding a child that's "mine". Doesn't mean there isn't love for nieces and nephews or the joy ( mixed with distress) when a friend announces their pregnancy or finding out a friend is worried about telling you because they know your struggle. It's heartbreaking. I tell my group members all the time, that if a family is your fate, it'll happen. It may be that they'll get their miracle baby ( I always hope this happens) or it may be they'll have a child walk into their life that just needs love and someone to believe in them. Wether this happens through adoption, fostering or random occurrence ( happened to me). There's more to life and family than biology.
   In 2004 my life got turned upside down, I was surgically diagnosed with Endometriosis and told my life would never be the same again. And it hasn't been. There I am heartbroken and feeling empty, and I had some wonderful people in my life who stood by me and helped me keep going. So thanksgiving comes around and for once I was truly thankful. I cooked and cooked and cooked for the horde of younging that always followed my friend and roommate home and it was a good night. So after all was said and gone, the cleanup started and that's when I noticed a youngin sleeping under my dinner table. And that was the start. ( This is where I must add if you are praying for a child in your life make it a detailed prayer for the age of the child not a generalized you might get handed a teenager)
 We've lived through a lot ,he and I, but I wouldn't trade his calling me "Mom" for anything. I love this son of mine, and sure I didn't bear him biologically, but in my heart he's mine and we all know how that works.  The thing I know about being a parent is you don't have to like your child's decision to stand by their right to make one. And what he knows about being my youngin, don't lie to mama and don't disrespect mama.  I don't tell anyone, especially him, what they WANT to hear. I will always tell him what he needs to hear. Especially the words " I'm proud of you baby" and " I love you most" He needs to not just HEAR that but KNOW that. I want him happy, and will do all within my power to make sure that happens, including telling him when he's wearing his asshat. I'm a Mom, I don't care how grown he is, I will always see him as he was when i first saw him. So we're living proof that for good or bad, you don't have to be blood to be family.

No comments:

Post a Comment